I haven't updated in forever.


Basically, I just got home from what is usually my favorite place on earth, California, where my family is. And where Sean is. I always leave there incredibly sad, for obvious reasons really. I live on the other side of the country. But this time, it was different. Something wasn't the same. I spent a week with my family, and loved it, but something wasn't right, and I can't put my finger on it.

I got on my plane this morning, and as soon as we took off I just started balling, and for a good 20 mins. The man next to me just left me alone. The plane stopped in Ontario, but it connected to nashville so I didn't have to change planes, nor did the man next to me. But I'm pretty sure I made him feel really uncomfortable. Once we landed in Ontario, I had stopped crying. He asked me what was wrong and I just told him I missed my family. Kept it simple. And then when I said I missed my family, it made me miss my family, so I started crying again. He told me he would be right back, but then grabbed his laptop and changed seats. I noticed when I got up to go to the bathroom and he was sitting next to this old man further in the back. Ha.

It's weird, because it's not that I miss my family. It's a different feeling. Something was different when I was there this year, and I have no clue what it was. And it sucks, because I feel like I'm missing something. This is probably making no sense to anyone. I don't know how else to describe it though.

Part of me is really angry for going to school in Alabama. I wish I would have just gone to California, like i'd been planning forever. I'm an idiot. California is where my family is. Why in the world didn't I go there! wksdlknslkfjan. I'm so mad at myself.

And I miss my family. And stupid Sean. =/

I am in Florida with Kori, meeting cute boys. =]

I had mouth surgery this morning. It sucked ass. Then again, I'm pretty hopped up on Lortabs, so I'm good lol

I am in the best mood.

"And if that's all that you got, well, you better not get caught."

"Breakdown More" by Eric Hutchinson

Tracie and I went and saw Macbeth at the Roxy last night. There were some parts that were really, really great. Like the ghost of banquo for example, but other parts were boring as hell. Not to mention, Lady Macbeth drove me insane. I couldn't stand her voice. Or her teeth.


I met a cute boy yesterdayyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
His name is Kyle, ironically.


Anyhow, I am excited Rob and Kyle are in town are in twon from West Point. Wait. Wow. I really know waaay too many kyles. There's Kyle Turner, Kyle Cobb, Kyle French, the cute Kyle from last night, Kyle Foote, and Kyle Lassiter. Damn, I really have a thing for Kyle's.


=]

fuck fuck fuck fuck

"I'm at war"
by Sean Kingston feat. Lil Wayne

MM, jake from West Point.
He was hottttt haha

It's time that I just bite my pride, and cut my losses.

shawdy say da nigga dat she wit aint shit.
can't do this, don't do dat.

There is something that I really need to do. Something I should have done a long time ago, actually. Come to think of it, I never should have let this start to begin with, then I wouldn't have to do this.







I don't want to feel like this anymore.

one day my mom will be able to come home.

mi madre es en la hospitale.

I think.. things are going well? Ha.



I am really bad at reading people though, so I could be wrong. Probably am. Ha. Whatev.




I have been slacking at school so much this semester. It's bad. I have a 67 in government, a 74 in trigonometry, and a 17 in speech lol Considering throughout all high school I've had straight A's, notttttt good. I can't help it though. I am so ready to be done. ALABAMAAAAAA.



Oh. And my dad is amazing. He bought tickets for a us vs. trinidad & tobago soccer game. Oh yeah. Hella excited. It's not til April though, which is a bummer. But I seriously cannot waitttttttt. Never been to a pro soccer game before. Should be sweet. Landon Donovan<33333, David Beckham. Oh yeah.

My ears are ringing. Ha.




Oh, the cutest thing. A boy made me a homemade italian dinner tonight. Like, he baked beer bread from scratch, and cooked some pasta chicken thing. It was suprisingly realllyyy good. But the whole thing was so sweet. I did not expect that. Like, at all.